songs, rambles, prayers, God...what else do you need?

listening to ~ White Flag, by Chris Tomlin, at Passion and Free, by Dara Maclean

Well, now I'm wishing I had another excuse for not posting.  'Cause I kinda need one right about now.  But before I launch into a long, rambling post...just beware, this is about to become a long, rambling post.  Now, moving on...I actually do have half of an excuse!

...which turns out to be worse than no excuse at all...

See, I was going to fast from being on the computer, as well as reading.  For the most part.  That was the idea, anyways...but that's all it was, an idea.  Not something I really prayed about.  Not something I decided based on what God told me, what His Spirit was nudging me to do.  It was something I just figured would work for me so that I could join our church in the 21-day fast we've been doing, leading up to Easter (and could also come in handy as an excuse for not posting on my poor blog).

I just figured it would work for me.

not God.  i wasn't thinking about what God wanted.  what He knew i needed.

maybe He did want me to fast those things.  but i didn't take the time to really ask Him.

So...I've been looking at it as if I've failed.  I didn't stick to my fast (key word - my), didn't listen to God, my relationship with God wasn't magically changed...so I failed. And since I loathe failure...and who doesn't?...I've been ignoring it.  I was more focused on performance, I guess, than God.  What I wanted to do, instead of my Father.  And when that perfection-obsession results in failure and turns to guilt, I do my best to ignore it.  Er, try to.

sorry - this blog post has apparently been seen as a convenient spot to use as my current journal entry. which is surprising, since i haven't made an entry in my journal since...*getting out my journal*...6/30/2011. at 11:14pm, to be precise. ha. it's 11:05pm right now. can't you see i totally have my priorities lined up? of course you wait until your eyelids are threatening to glue shut for the next 24 hours, even tho you need to get up the next morning at, like, 7:30am - of course you wait until then to spend time quietening your troubled heart, to start talking to God...to start listening to His Spirit. to His loving, gentle Spirit.

O my Lord Jesus, my God. how i love You. how amazing You are. how messed up i am, how sinful. but You know that...You've known that...but You still love me. You give me life, life given freely. You give me forgiveness. redemption. hope. joy. how i don't deserve You. to even know You, who You are. but You push through my doubt and feelings of unworthiness and everything in me that rebels against Your love and You say...I love you, my chosen one, my daughter. you're forgiven. come to Me, and I will give you rest. come to Me, and I will give you life. come to Me, my loved one, my precious little girl. you are truly loved. I'll hold you in My love, warm you in My arms. come to Me. I love you.

amen.


Love and blessings - have a wonderful weekend, all! <3

Sunday

What is Sunday for?

Rest.  Easy answer.  Worship.  Also fairly obvious.

OK...how?  What does resting the whole day look like?  How do I worship God for a whole day?

Sad, isn't it?  But these are the thoughts that often run through my head.  We, as a church, as a fellowship in the Spirit, as Christ's chosen Bride, often forget that Sunday is the Lord's day, His special gift to us.  It's not something we need to observe strictly, with rules on what we can and cannot do.  It's a reminder...our Savior has set us free, and we owe Him our life.  It's not a boring day of restriction; it's a celebration!!  It's an invitation from our Father to spend devoted time with Him, not going our own way, but just taking some time to ourselves, or with others, to be in His Presence.  To listen to Him.  To worship Him.  To rest in His arms.  To be with Him.

How can I resist that?

¹³ “If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath 
   and from doing as you please on my holy day, 
if you call the Sabbath a delight 
   and the LORD’s holy day honorable, 
and if you honor it by not going your own way 
   and not doing as you please or speaking idle words, 
¹⁴ then you will find your joy in the LORD.”

                           --Isaiah 58:13-14, NIV

^13-14“If you watch your step on the Sabbath 

   and don't use my holy day for personal advantage,
If you treat the Sabbath as a day of joy, 
   God's holy day as a celebration,
If you honor it by refusing 'business as usual,' 
   making money, running here and there—
Then you'll be free to enjoy God!”

                           --Isaiah 58:13-14, MSG

P.S.  Hey, amazing readers, what do you think about me maybe sharing some songs or poems or whatever that I've written on here sometime?  Maybe on another page or in a blog post or something?  If no one mentions it in the comments, then I'll have my answer. ;) Have a wonderful day, blessed by Him! <3

among other things

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just some random words that surface to my mind as I scroll through Scripture on Biblegateway.com...thanks, God. <3 (sorry for the 'open in window' and 'print'...this is from Wordle...with quite a bit of help from my brother, Noah. thanks, Noah!)